Day: 5 tummy fat you have met your match

I'm worried I haven't lost any weight yet. I know I mentioned I had one binge day but that day I ate less than 1500 cals so I shouldn't have gained. I"m so anxious. I biked 1 hour and 40 mins burning an estimated 780 calories and I'm still not satisfied with myself. I won't be satisfied until I see the number on the scale dropping. I'll weigh myself tomorrow and pray that I've lost. One reason for stagnate weight loss is the fact that I am incredibly constipated. I took a laxative and it has failed to produce the desired effect. I'll take more tomorrow if I'm still backed up. Yesterday I talked about collecting thinspo of the abs I'm striving for. Today you get to see part of the collection. Ahhh when will I look the way I want? Will it ever happen for me? I feel so fat and blubbery. The calipers said I was 17% body fat and I will have to get down to 14% if I want a defined looking midsection. Obviously I am not trying to lose weight solely for a good looking tummy. However, this small goal helps me focus on the big picture. I used to be 76 freaking pounds. How did I let myself tip the scales so much in the other direction. Or more importantly why? It is a depressing thought. I am trying to stay positive but it's hard. I'm having a horrible time. I'm hoping the scales will read 113 tomorrow. I know I'm not restricting horribly but I have been exercising my butt off. Shouldn't that count for something? I know weight loss isn't overnight but does it have to be so painfully slow. Regardless of what tomorrow's weigh in might be I pledge to myself that I will stick to a good diet and exercise routine. If it takes me a year to lose 15 lbs then so be it. At least I got to my goal weight. If I let myself get hung up or off track, I will never get there. If I stay focused no matter how fast or slow the progress, I will reach my goal eventually. I must reach my goal. I must rid myself of this excess fat. I must stay on track. I must not give up. But oh please let the scales be motivating. Oh please oh please oh please please please!