Thursday, February 17, 2011

Day 6: Let's get loaded and forget the world

My mother is a doctor. I've been sick the past year and she has called me in pain medicine a few times. Tonight she is going to call in some more! Yes, I abuse them but I also have a legitimate need for them. My plan is get the script from her, use it to forge a script for provigil, and then fill them both. I'm not sure I'll have the balls to go through with it but it is an exciting notion. I'm surprised to see that I have one mystery follower. I'm paranoid enough to worry that it is someone I know in my daily life. Obviously that would be impossible. However, my imagination never seems to get tired of thinking up fantastical stories. I won't be working out today because of the pain I'm in. I'm going to try and keep my calories lower than usual. I caved and weighed myself today. It turns out I have gained a pound. I'm trying to convince myself that this is impossible. I'm trying to get myself to believe that the extra pound is only a result of my severe constipation -_- I've been taking extra laxatives and still no poop. It is a little worrisome but I'm used to this because my bowels haven't been working for some time. Don't worry I am seeing a doctor about it and he is the one who prescribed the daily laxatives. On a side note, I'm kinda tempted to drink today. I'm not old enough to purchase my own liquor in this great country and my boyfriend is a little less than 3 months away from being legal. I can't wait to get drunk with him. Vodka, rum, whiskey, tequila, and more! Anyways, since neither of us can legally get anything now I am reduced to stealing it from my mother. The only type of alcohol she keeps in the house is red wine which I loath. I am a little desperate though and might crack open a bottle soon. I know it has a terrible amount of calories but can't a girl live a little. I'm not going to drink today that is for sure (due to feeling so rotten physically). I'll update this post more later. I need to rest.

I'm back. First off, why the hell do all my pictures keep getting cut off. Am I the only one experiencing this? Secondly, my mom wrote the script and I forged another. I've decided that if I'm going to go through with it, I am going to have to bring each to different pharmacies. I'll bring the legit one to my regular pharm and the fake to one I never use. I'll deal with the fake tomorrow... that is if I have the balls. I could seriously go to jail for this or I might not get caught at all. The fake script should help suppress my appetite and right now I feel like it is worth the risk to be thin. UGGGGH this could drive my anxiety crazy. If I decide to do it, I am going to take a beta-blocker first to help with my anxiety. Right now I have nothing to worry about because I'm not going to try and get it tonight but ahhh I still worry.

No comments:

Post a Comment